The High-Flying Guide to Airport Etiquette
Welcome to the ultimate traveler’s guide to airport etiquette, where we navigate the dos and don’ts of the modern air travel jungle around the world. Fasten your seatbelts, folks – it’s going to be a punny ride!
DO: Arrive Early, But Not Too Early
Do arrive at the airport with plenty of time to spare. The recommended two hours for domestic flights and three for international should suffice unless you enjoy sprinting to your gate with a suitcase that has a wonky wheel. Don’t arrive so early that you witness the cleaning crew’s night shift handover. There’s such a thing as too much airport time.
DON’T: Pack Your Entire Bathroom
Do remember the 3-1-1 liquids rule: 3.4 ounces or less per container, 1 quart-sized bag, 1 bag per passenger. Don’t be the person who tries to sneak in a family-sized shampoo bottle. TSA agents have seen it all, and they’re not amused by your “But it’s just a little over!” argument.
DO: Dress for Success (And Security)
Do wear comfortable clothing and easily removable shoes. Don’t dress like you’re attending a fashion show in Fort Knox. Excessive jewelry and belts with more metal than a heavy metal concert will only slow you down.
DON’T: Hog the Armrests
Do be considerate of your fellow passengers. The middle seat gets the armrests; it’s the unspoken rule of the skies. Don’t be an armrest conqueror. Your elbows aren’t royalty, and this isn’t Game of Thrones.
DO: Master the Art of Queueing
Do stand in line patiently. Don’t use your rolling suitcase as a battering ram to create a path to the front. Remember, queue jumping is a cardinal sin in the airport world.
DON’T: Treat the Gate Area Like Your Living Room
Do keep your area tidy. Don’t spread out like you’re at a picnic. This includes taking off your shoes and socks to get comfortable. Airports are not barefoot-friendly zones, and frankly, no one wants to see your toes.
DO: Be Prepared at Security
Do have your boarding pass and ID ready. Don’t be the person who acts surprised when asked for these documents. It’s like acting shocked when a barista at a coffee shop asks for your order.
DON’T: Forget Your Manners
Do say please and thank you. Don’t forget that airport staff are humans, not robots programmed to deal with grumpy travelers. A smile can go a long way, especially when you’re asking for that elusive window seat.
DO: Keep Your Kids in Check
Do keep an eye on your little ones. Airports are not playgrounds, and conveyor belts are not merry-go-rounds. Don’t let them run wild. Unattended children may be given espresso and a free puppy.
DON’T: Be a Wi-Fi Bandit
Do use the airport Wi-Fi for light browsing. Don’t download the entire internet. Save the streaming and large downloads for your home network. Everyone appreciates a little bandwidth courtesy.
DO: Respect Personal Space
Do maintain a polite distance from others. Don’t invade personal space. If you can tell what someone had for lunch by their breath on your neck, you’re too close.
The Layover Lowdown
So there you have it, a comprehensive guide to not being ‘that guy’ at the airport. Follow these simple dos and don’ts, and you’ll be flying high with the seasoned traveler’s grace. Just remember, the airport is a shared space, and a little consideration goes a long way.
